A colleague asked me what was wrong during hand off report. I told this colleague I was going through some shit and did not want to discuss it. She commented that I was not my usual self and wanted to help me. This woman does not want to help me she wants to hear my pain and then spread it around. I have been pretty cautious about telling colleagues, I cannot afford to look weak, the sharks will circle and my boss is not a nice person. The boss is not evil, just not very kind. A few other colleagues have taken to ask me how I am several times during a shift and I tell them everything is fine. Again they do not want to reach out, they just sense I am wavering. The people I supervise are very self involved and have not noticed the change in my demeanor. Who knew that mild narcism could be a protectant? I stumbled through work this week.
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